Nothing Lasts Forever

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It’s been said that nothing lasts forever.
And that’s just what we are, nothing.
We tell ourselves and others that we’re just friends,
Nothing more than that.
But every time I see you look at me,
And every time I see all you do for me,
Or how much you want to spend time with me,
I realize I want to be with you just the same.
Friends, we say?
Nothing more than that?
Sometimes I think you’re just scared,
Because you know I have my doubts.
But it’s only because I’m scared,
Scared of hurting you,
Scared of being with the wrong person,
And the burning you.
I’ve been in this situation before, many times.
I don’t think you ever have.
I don’t think you’ve ever been torn like I have,
And I don’t want to be the one to tear you.
I’m scared of letting anything harmful happen to you,
And I don’t want to be your disaster.
To be something means I could be your disaster.
I could hurt you and tear you like no other,
Because you mean something to me,
And I’m sure I mean the same to you.
I don’t want to destroy you.
You may think I’m all put together,
But I’m broken,
And I can’t put the weight on you to complete me.
I know only He can.
We’ve grown closer this past year,
More than ever,
And yet there’s still pieces of me you’ve never seen
Those jagged pieces we hide from each other.
I’ve always been positive they’re in every one.
But for some reason,
It always draws me more to the person.
There’s something perfect about imperfections.
Something that makes me feel safe that someone is imperfect,
As I am.
You’re good at hiding your imperfections
Although I want to know them to love you completely.
And you always seem to want to know more and all of me,
And I’m aching to tell you all as you let me know you.
But to do that, might make us more vulnerable to hurt each other.
And I’m leaving soon.
You know I get attached easily.
Where to? I’m not sure yet.
And yet, sometimes I feel like you know me more than a lot of people.
And when I leave, I’ll be missing part of me, in you.
You don’t know all the instances of my life
Because I drop them in small doses for you to handle,
But you’ve seen my character.
I don’t put up a mask around you.
I don’t stop acting like my CrAzY self because you’re there.
If anything, sometimes I’m even more myself because of you.
How is it you make me become me?
I know only He can do that,
But you bring the me inside to come out.
I’m a big confusion if you haven’t noticed,
And you think anybody would want to marry me.
You drop subtle hints that you want to be something when we converse,
And I always seem to ignore what you say
Or act like it didn’t mean anything to you.
I bring up another subject
Or bring up another part of the phrase or topic you mentioned.
I don’t even think I mean to.
But I do.
I nail it every time.
It’s my natural reaction,
Or maybe my natural defense.
I’m not sure yet.
I’m still caught up in the pretense.
But if I ever find out, maybe I’ll tell you.
Maybe. Just maybe,
No promises.
Because to say something might mean we’re onto something.
And something’s have never been known to last forever.
When I leave, what will happen?
I mean, we’re still nothing.
Apart, we’re something though.
I do hope you last forever-together, or not.
For now, we’re still nothing though.
Good thing nothing lasts forever.
You think we’ll last forever?
It takes forever to find out.